Thank you to all who prayed for me today. Thanks so much to Elizabeth who was so sweet to bring me some beautiful flowers from her yard and take care of the daycare so we could go! We chose to take Trenton with us (he is usually well behaved as long as it is just him-no sisters). However, I think today some of you may have prayed for him to be as honary as possible to help take my mind off the nature of the outing. We had lunch first (where he was very well behaved). Then headed to Woodward Monument Co. (I have listened closely to their radio ads long before we lost Trevor-I will share more of that story another time). Anyway as we entered the small building it smelled of flowers and seemed quite funerally (probably not a word) to me. The sweet lady greeted us. After we told her what we needed, she was quick to point us to the heart shaped stone for infants. It was grey slate and somewhat plain-not really what either of us had in mind. We kept looking and chose one that was slanted. We both wanted a black one, so that is what we went with. We went back inside. It was this point that Trenton came alive! You see this sweet lady has 2 grandchildren that live 400 miles away. So she had been ooohing and awwwing over T and how cute he is! Well, we got back in and he decided that the gravestones inside looked like perfect places to climb and jump off of. If I reminded him once, I had to remind him 100 times that we were not at the park so we shouldn't climb on those stones. He would smile sweetly and say ok momma and then go on to the next one. All the while Brandon & the sweet lady were asking me question after question-who knew there were so many options? We let Trenton decide what he thought Trevor might like and he chose a picture of a Tractor. I thought that was absolutely perfect! Since T loves tractors so much it only makes sense that his little brother would probably have loved them too! Brandon chose 2 crosses to go on each top corner. Early on we had chose James 1:17 as a verse for Trevor since he is a perfect gift from above. So we had that reference put on as well. The only time I really felt the emotions coming on was when she pulled the stone up on the computer screen with his name and his birthdate. She then turned to us for his date of death. Brandon said quietly it was the same. So she asked quietly do you want it on their once or twice? We responded just once. She said yes, that is how we did our childs. It was then that it hit me Trevor has no dash! I have a dash, all who read this have a dash. I often wonder what did I do today to make my dash count? It never hit me until I starred at that computer screen, my baby boy has no dash. It's just 1-4-10. He came & went all in one moment! Maybe that's why I feel so strongly that I NEED to be his dash. I need to fill in those gaps that he is not here to fill. Now that the stone is chosen, I can't wait to order it. Soon, hopefully soon. One sweet thing that T did do between jumping off stones was every time he saw an angel in there (and there were many) he would stop and say "look mama, I found Trevor, come see". So sweet, it just melted my heart. We have never said anything to him about Trevor being an angel (because we know he is not). However, somewhere along the way he has come to picture his baby brother that way. Of course we can't go to town without having to go to Wal-Mart. On the way there a kind lady had a trailer set up with Memorial flowers. We stopped and purchased some for Trevor. Brandon and I both went toward the same bunch at the same time. They were just perfect! So colorful and bright! I will try to post pics once I have placed them at the cemetery. All in all it was a good day. Thanks so much for your prayers. They are felt and appreciated!
"Every good & perfect gift is from above" James 1:17
The Hardest Part
8 hours ago