4 Months. Wow that's hard to believe! Somedays it seems like just yesterday while other days it seems like forever ago. Isn't that the way life is though? When I look at the calendar and think man I would be entering in to my last six weeks of pregnancy. The part I always LOVED the most because your almost there. Instead, although I still have the belly there is no baby growing inside. I think back to just 4 months ago when I went to bed that night I went to bed with no fear at all that I would loose my little guy that night. I guess thats the part I dislike the most-this new fear I have of loosing people-the people I love most. You see if God can take Trevor he could certainly take any or all of the rest of my family. I have always had some fear of that (I think it was just normal mama fear before). Now, I think sometimes my fears are unreasonable. I hope in time to be more like the Ceraks (they spoke at our church on Sunday, if you missed it, you missed a real blessing). I have to continue to let go and trust God completely. I know with all my heart that he loves me and he can carry me through anything but man I really don't want to loose anyone else. Thanks again for your comments and prayers. They are so appreciated.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
A New Normal
8 months ago
I'm glad you guys had a good trip yesterday and are happy with your choice!! Life is SO easy to take for granted isn't it--it always makes me stop and think when someone "unexpectedly" dies--in awe of the fragility of life, and then just wondering and pondering the fact that when their day started and the days of their loved ones, they had NO idea what was in store for them that day. I so don't want that to me. . .and it does make one fearful-and I'm sure much more fearful when it has happened once. It's sometimes hard to practice the "be anxious over nothing" verse and equally hard to "be thankful in everything" Keep hangin' in!! And Trevor jumping off of things--everytime I have ever seen him at the nursing home with Brandon, he has never moved out of his stroller (I always wished that my kids had sat as still as he did!!)It's hard for me to imagine him all wound up! Gotta love 'em!
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