I am writing tonight because I covet your prayers. I know many of you have been praying for us and I appreciate it far more than I can ever say. For without your prayers I know I could not make it through the tough days. I am going to start a series called Journey to June. I feel like I am on a journey and although it is not the one I would have chose for myself, God has placed me on this journey. I would like for as many of you who are willing to journey with me. It's called Journey to June because my due date was June 16th. As each day passes I know I am getting closer to the date I dread so much. Now as many of you know all of my children have been anxious to leave the womb and meet their mommy face to face. lol. So I have NEVER made it to my actual due date and I have been ok with that. My 3 oldest were born just days before their due dates so all is well. So I think I dread June 9th more than the 16th. Although Brandon & I were kind of hoping for a June 3rd baby. What a way to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary! Either way I think I just dread June. If we could go straight from May to July-I would be fine with that, but I know we can't. That being said I know that on this journey I face some tough days between now and June. I am dealing with one right now. It may seem silly, but it is our family Garage Sale. I always have 2 a year one in the Spring and 1 in the Fall. I clean out the kids closets, sale everything we can and use the money earned to re-invest for their wardrobe's for that season. I LOVE clothes-especially CUTE children's clothes so I LOVE to shop for them. I also love BARGAINS! So I look any and everywhere to find the best deals possible on quality items. It's my challenge after each sale to see how far I can make that money go! lol. Anyway, this sale was to be the SALE OF ALL SALES. I have containers in my garage of all of my favorite baby clothes. My favorite boy things. My favorite girl things. These are the things that I have never tried to sale. My plan was that this time I would know by now what the baby would be and would sale ALL of the clothing of the other gender. My plan was that this would be our last baby. Well, as I said before God has a plan all his own and it doesn't always match up with our plans. So now I am struggling with what to do. I really want to go forward and have the sale and use the money made to purchase a grave stone for Trevor. But now it's hard for me to go through the items without thinking of Trevor. Especially Trenton's clothes of course because they would have been Trevor's. I know clothes are material things and could all be gone tonight in a fire or any other disaster. It's just something about the clothes that remind me again of the baby boy I will never hold. The baby boy who will never wear those adorable little outfits. So please pray that I can find the joy in the cleaning out so we can purchase just the right grave stone. It's really the last thing I can do for him on earth.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
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