Beauty Will Rise!

As tomorrow quickly approaches that long awaited first year mark is upon me. At times it seems like it just happened. I can remember EVERY detail of that tragic morning. Other times it seems as though it happened in another lifetime---ages ago. I am so thankful I have a few tangible items that I can hold. Photos, a tiny blanket they wrapped Trevor in at the hospital, a plaster mold of tiny footprints so small that you really can't make them out---but I know what they are. All of these things remind me it was not a nightmare--Trevor did really exist. Brandon and I have a tradition of going shopping on Black Friday every year. We get up super early with all of the other crazy people out there looking to save 50 cents-lol. Anyway, last year we purchased Steven Curtis Chapman's CD-Beauty Will Rise as a Black Friday Special Bargain. I had no idea what an investment that would be! He wrote the songs on it as a tribute to his young daughter Maria who went to Heaven in 2008. The Songs on the cd (every one of them) have ministered to me so much through this process they call grief. The title song Beauty Will Rise speaks volumes to me still now. So I thought I would share the lyrics with you on this the eve of my precious son's death.

Beauty Will Rise
by Steven Curtis Chapman

It was the day the world went wrong

I screamed til my voice was gone
And watched through the tears as everything
came crashing down
Slowly panic turns to pain
As we awake to what remains
and sift through the ashes that are left behind
But buried deep beneath
All our broken dreams
we have this hope:
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning, beauty will rise
So take another breath for now,
and let the tears come washing down,
and if you can't believe I will believe
for you.
Cuz I have seen
the signs of spring!
Just watch and see:
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...
I can hear it in the distance
and it's not too far away.


I can't wait to see the beauty that comes out of all of the ashes of our 2010. It's the hope I cling to that gets me through the toughest of days.

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11-NIV