Baby Number 5

 One year ago today I said good bye to our baby. When I lost Trevor the doctor wrote it off as a fluke----he was just incompatible with life thats what he said. Try again as soon as you can, I am sure this one will be fine is what he said. Boy did I find out who is in control and it certainly is not him! Baby number 5 although just as real as little Trevor is harder for me to get a grasp on. With Trevor I was able to hold him in my hand and see each of his tiny features right down to his tongue. I was able to hold him and pray over him. I was able to say good bye. With Baby number 5 I was only a few weeks along. I didn't get the same type of closure I did with Trevor. I wasn't able to hold him or her. I wasn't able to name that sweet baby because I didn't know if that sweet baby was a boy or a girl. To those of you who have read "Heaven is for Real", I completely broke down when I got to the place in the book when he meets his big sister in Heaven and she is waiting on her mommy & daddy to get there to give her a name. They, like us lost her too early to know her sex & give her a name.I can't wait to get to Heaven and see my sweet babies waiting on us to get there and give them names. Oh what a day that will be! For now I am just thankful for the few weeks I had with our sweet baby in my womb. Those few weeks changed my life forever!