My Broken Heart

Man.....what a year. If on December 31st you would have told me that I would loose 2 children in 2010, I would have thought you were crazy. I have been blessed 3 times with 3 truly uneventful pregnancies resulting in 3 completely healthy children and for that I am truly thankful. I NEVER realized until 2010 how significant that is. I NEVER realized just how fragile life is until 2010. I am now a mother of 5 precious children. I can't even believe that. I saw a mom with her 6 children in the grocery store today and thought wow she has a Big family. Then I realized our cart was missing two of our helpers or we would have almost that many. Wow. If on January 4, 2010 (the day our son Trevor went to be with Jesus) you would have said, Stacy in 7 months and two weeks you will have another baby join Trevor and Jesus, again I would have thought you to be crazy. Yet, here I am in the midst of my heartbreak with two children in the arms of Jesus. Yes, it took me 6 months before I could even begin to consider another baby. Not because I don't long for just one more baby but because of the fear of the heartbreak I now face. God did answer my prayer though. I conceived very quickly and I have (or had) the 17 tests to prove it. lol (Not all of them positive---because of course I began testing way too early) But many were positive. Earlypregnancytests.com has great prices on cheap, accurate pregnancy tests for anyone else out there who is crazy like me. I know God is faithful and I know He still has a plan for us. I know he can carry me through. I just pray that someday he will allow us to have one more baby to hold and to Love. I also pray that I never take for granted the significance of Life. It is a precious thing that only God can give. May I NEVER take any of my children for granted.

Psalm 23........Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For YOU are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.